2019 Reflections

What. A. Year. 2019 came with many big life changes and even more life lessons. In reflecting on 2018 last January, I decided the path I was on was not meant for me. While I loved living in my hometown and the support from the community, I had an urge to make a change. That is when I decided to move to Des Moines in hopes of growing my yoga following.

The move brought so many changes to my life. It was only the second time I had moved away from my friends and family, and unlike the first time, I knew this move was long term. I was so excited to live in a bigger city (I always thought of myself as a city girl). I met many new people within the first few weeks of living here and had an abundance of vegan options for dinning out. I lived and worked downtown, and after commuting an hour one way to work for nearly two years, I was thrilled to only drive my car short distances a couple times a week.

It took a little while to get settled and find a place to teach yoga that was the right fit for me. I quickly developed new habits and new routines. I was loving life. Then, the first big catastrophe was dumped on me: my apartment, that I loved oh so much, flooded and we were forced to move to a smaller, darker apartment. It would’ve been easy to get upset and frustrated, because there is nothing I despise more than moving. But, I tried to embrace this change and look at it as a challenge that I needed to power through and overcome.

We survived the two months in the less than perfect apartment and were finally able to move back into our old place. This is when I started to feel like the life I had built wasn’t working for me anymore. Being in the heart of the city had been fun, but I reached a point where the excitement had worn off and I missed some of the simple things in life; having a yard, not parking in a ramp or lot, a sense of space. It felt like the concrete was caving in on me. Shortly after, I experienced two horrible panic attacks. By this point, my positive outlook was diminishing and self doubt was creeping in.

“What was I thinking moving here? I’m not good enough to build and run my own yoga business. Maybe I should just give up and move back home.”

It was then that I decided I needed yet another change and moved to a beautiful house in a quaint neighborhood. For those of you keeping track, this was indeed my fourth move of the year. I was exhausted and depressed. Along with this move came too many job changes in a very short amount of time. My life felt like pure chaos!

Slowly, I am starting to piece myself back together. Writing out and re-reading all of the major changes that happened in 2019 wore me out. I knew everything that had happened but seeing it on paper really shocked me. How did all of that happen in less than a year?

I encourage you to reflect back on this calendar year. What things or people brought you joy? Which ones brought you stress? Take some time to let those reflections marinate and then see what changes you need to make for this new year. Stay tuned for the follow up blog post where I share some of my personal and business goals/intentions for 2020. I’ll break down how these came about and what my plan of attack is.

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